Why You Can’t Orgasm During Sex?

I Can’t Orgasm During Sex — What’s Normal and What You Can Do

I can’t orgasm during sex — sound familiar, babe? If you’re silently frustrated while pretending to moan or smiling through the awkward silence afterward, trust me, you are not alone.

As your bestie (and a sexologist), I want to take you through why this happens, what’s totally normal, and what you can do to reconnect with your body and feel true pleasure.

💡What Is an Orgasm & Why It Matters?

Orgasms are those powerful muscle contractions at the peak of sexual pleasure. But they’re not just physical — they’re emotional, hormonal, and deeply connected to your brain and body working in sync.

In ancient texts like the Kama Sutra, women’s orgasms were seen as sacred, vital to fertility and bonding. But today, due to stress, shame, and performance pressure, many women feel disconnected from their own desires.

Is It Normal If I Can’t Orgasm During Sex?

Short answer? YES.

Around 75% of women don’t climax from vaginal penetration alone. This is called the “orgasm gap”, and it’s way more common than people admit.

Here’s what’s totally normal:

You orgasm during masturbation but not with a partner
You need clitoral stimulation to reach climax
Your orgasm changes depending on your mood, partner, or cycle

🧠What Causes Difficulty Reaching Orgasm?

Let’s break this down:

1. 💭 Psychological Causes:

Performance anxiety (am I doing it “right”?)
Stress and fatigue
Body image issues
Past trauma or guilt

2. 🩺 Physical Causes:

Hormonal imbalances (like low estrogen or thyroid issues)
Certain medications (antidepressants, birth control)
Menopause or postpartum changes

3. 💔 Relationship Factors:

Lack of emotional connection
Poor communication
Mismatched libido

🔥 How to Cure or Improve Orgasmic Response?

Let’s focus on healing, not fixing. You’re not broken — you just need the right support and tools.

🧘‍♀️ 1. Get to Know Your Body

Explore what turns you on without shame. Use your fingers or a vibrator. Light touch, deep pressure, teasing — experiment without expectations.

🧠 2. Rewire Your Brain

Pleasure starts in the mind. Practice mindfulness during intimacy. Focus on feeling, not performing.

💬 3. Communicate With Your Partner

Tell them what you like. Don’t fake orgasms — it teaches your partner the wrong map to your body.

🧴 4. Use Lubrication

Lube reduces friction and increases comfort. This boosts sensation and helps your body relax.

💕 5. Consider Therapy or Coaching

Sex therapy can help unpack emotional blocks. It’s not just for couples — it’s for you.

📚Ancient & Cultural Views on Female Pleasure

Historically, texts like Kama Sutra celebrated a woman’s pleasure as essential. Ancient Egyptians had detailed carvings showing mutual satisfaction. In Taoist traditions, the female orgasm was seen as a life force.

We’ve moved away from this wisdom, but it’s time to reclaim it.

Free E Book

“The Intimacy Cure Guide”
Natural Ways to Boost Your Sexual Health & Confidence
By: Wamiqa – Your Sexologist Bestie
Real Talk. Real Solutions. No Shame.

💖 Final Words from Your Sexologist Bestie

Your orgasm is your right — not a reward. If you can’t orgasm during sex, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or bad at intimacy. It just means your body wants to be heard differently.

Trust your body. Be gentle. Stay curious.

Free Kamasutra E Book : The Intimacy Starter Guide: 7-Day Kama Sutra Challenge